Monday, November 16, 2009

Stop me if you've heard this one...

I woke up 'round 4-4:30am to go to the bathroom and noticed this weird, intense pain emanating from my mustache region. At first I thought it was a zit or an ingrown hair but the pain was way too intense and my upper-lip was beginning to swell...

That happened two weeks ago almost to the day. Actually, it happened literally--literally--24hrs shy of a perfect two week phrase; and this lovely early morn is A prime.

WHAT THE FUCK!?

Before going to sleep tonight, whilst weaving waxy wire through my grill, I felt what reasonably could have been two new pimpletons growing--one in the realm of my stache and one just below my flava-sava (pronounced: flay-vuh say-vuh). Again, thinking nothing of these minor bumps in the road of my face than previously stated assertions and further validation why my beard will soon reappear, I went to sleep...

...only to wake-up at 4:30am to go to the bathroom with intense pain emanating from my mustache region and just below-and-right and my fucking flava-sava--ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME!? Did we not just go through this two weeks ago? Was I not shafted from the health-center at my work place because I'm not a student and told to walk to the ER 3/4-of-a-mile-away? Did I not already look like Fat Lip, get two intense shots--one in each arm--have my friend Olganize [sic] a ride home for me because I was so knocked-out from the shots that I could barely say my name without falling asleep (and I slept in my former supervisor's old office for an hour before getting the ride), have to take a day-off because the medications seriously drained the fuck out me, and was forced to hold-off on calling this cute girl I had met a few days before because of said aesthetic wonders? Holy crap! I can't fall back asleep, I'm freaking out; I can't believe I'm still sitting on my bed--WAIT!

--have I even mentioned that it's been assumed that the initial ailment was a spider bite? Did I mention that I also happen to be (more than) notably terrified of said creature? Not only did this happen once before, but it was two fucking weeks ago and now I have TWO of these fuckers. Shit man, do I need a new mattress? Blanket? Pillows? What do I do?

And this time, it didn't happened when I was sleeping. But when did it happen? Are these not spider bites? What are they? The pain is exactly the same, my mustache-lip is beginning to swell, I can feel two small bumps. I took two Benadryl. Shit man, I might just head over to the ER and see if'n they can't give me a shot...but I have two shows this week and I need my arms as much as possible--lugging gear, playing...Dammit. Dammit. Dammit. Tomorrow (later today, in 12 hours), I have a huge event that I've been planning for weeks. I can't miss that. Should I just go back to sleep and go to the doctor when I wake-up? Crap. I'm losing steam. Benadryl is finally kicking in. Think I'll just go back to sleep, see what my face looks like in a few hours (though I can feel my top lip gaining real-estate, slowly spilling over its bottom-bunk mate, my lower lip).

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